The Five Singers You'll Meet on the First Day of Music Rehearsal. God Help You.

The first orchestra rehearsal is one of the most thrilling things I get to do. The first day of music rehearsal with a cast of nervous singing actors? That's a different thing entirely.

Archetypal patterns emerge pretty quickly. Especially if you didn't have a say in casting.

There's The Unapologetic Non-Reader. Deadpan face. Phone out. Watching the clock. "I don't read music at all. I can't understand a thing you're saying." You quickly start adjusting your entire schedule over the next two days that you gave to the director and PSM.

There's The Plunk Track Hostage-Taker. Me: Ok, can I please hear measure— Them: "I work much better when I have a complete recording of my part. So before I could possibly make a mistake in front of my colleagues — I need you to stop everything and play my entire part. Start to finish. Then I'll go away and come back tomorrow." Me: So you'll have it down? Them: No. It'll be like you never played it. And you'll teach it to me by rote while the whole room waits again. Me: Oh yay.

There's The Anxious-Polite-Please-Love-Me. "How do I sound? Am I doing ok? Is this right?" "Do you want this mixed or belted?" "I'm so sorry, can I just get that one more time for my phone?" "Do you like that vibrato there?" "I just really want to do a good job." Every. Four. Bars.

There's The Wannabe MD. Me: Tenors, let's just look at the notes here. WBMD: Did you want a glottal stop on that accent? Me: We're just doing pitches right now. WBMD: So no glottal then. Me: Let's talk about that when we get there. WBMD: I just want to make sure we're doing it together and it's solid. Me: Silent stare with eyebrows up.

And then. The Gold Star Pro. Calm. Chill. Great instrument. Great reader. Funny. Listens to what you need and just delivers. They get it. Me: Need a refresh on that section? GSP: Nope. I'm good. Let's sing. This is fun. Lucky if you have one or two in your ensemble. Treasure them.

Now let me tell you about the opera world. Recent first piano/vocal rehearsal. Chamber opera. Three singers. At the break it was clear the soprano hadn't really looked at it — sitting at about 70% accuracy. Tenor and baritone were doing better. Then the tenor said, in his full ringing speaking voice: "I don't think music rehearsal is the time anyone should be LEARNING music." My inner musical theater MD self could barely contain the laughter.

Oh. How lucky they are in that world. From Broadway to community theater — the spectrum doesn't change. Only the zip code and the pay scale do.

Music Director = Mentor in Disguise = Teacher. That's what you are. That's what you do. Figure it out. Make it work. Make it all your fault. Meet them where they are. And check my profile pic — no hair left to pull.

On the first day of music rehearsal I always start with some version of: "Tell me about how you learn music — so I know how to talk to you." I start from there. Then the games begin. In real life I try to be as neutral as possible. That's high level teacher mode. Most days.